Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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