i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
