Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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