Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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