So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
