Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
