Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize