Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
