I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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