yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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