wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize