so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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