For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
