is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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