i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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