I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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