Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time

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(989): View more from Michigan

i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom

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25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp

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(905): View more from Ontario

He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10

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