Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.