Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

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  (602): I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits http://tfl.nu/rsyd
  Replies (54) Good night (1407) Bad night (7268)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.

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  (972): she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick. http://tfl.nu/7fj1
  Replies (16) Good night (5701) Bad night (724)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.

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  (206): at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception. http://tfl.nu/j51s
  Replies (34) Good night (1842) Bad night (4913)
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  (951): View more from California

  We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.

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  (951): We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie. http://tfl.nu/3rqj
  Replies (5) Good night (3905) Bad night (1029)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  wow.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  But it's a REALLY good back rub.

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  (815): The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub. (928): wow. (815): But it's a REALLY good back rub. http://tfl.nu/3vfg
  Replies (27) Good night (5213) Bad night (1031)
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  (714): View more from California

  if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.

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  (714): if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed. http://tfl.nu/eogf
  Replies (3) Good night (3104) Bad night (1023)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?

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  (201): We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong? http://tfl.nu/lzrs
  Replies (13) Good night (2969) Bad night (904)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."

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  (216): Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect." http://tfl.nu/19ko
  Replies (9) Good night (3173) Bad night (1021)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (262): Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/jzba
  Replies (5) Good night (2510) Bad night (833)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping

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  (216): He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping http://tfl.nu/ku3q
  Replies (9) Good night (1068) Bad night (3221)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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  (845): Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight. http://tfl.nu/mc2w
  Replies (2) Good night (2139) Bad night (882)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

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  (561): I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line? http://tfl.nu/0ivn
  Replies (10) Good night (941) Bad night (1305)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?

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  (410): There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him? http://tfl.nu/lo67
  Replies (20) Good night (751) Bad night (1070)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke

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  (416): Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke http://tfl.nu/mtw8
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (1297)
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  (818): View more from California

  in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man

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  (818): in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man http://tfl.nu/f3lt
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (309)

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