Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.

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  (770): I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair. http://tfl.nu/2vto
  Replies (1) Good night (1329) Bad night (664)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc

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  (201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc http://tfl.nu/bhl3
  Replies (31) Good night (1740) Bad night (717)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

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  (313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone. http://tfl.nu/vfbd
  Replies (40) Good night (14355) Bad night (1660)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  again?

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  (612): I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job. (651): again? http://tfl.nu/ai0g
  Replies (11) Good night (1078) Bad night (4912)
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  (415): View more from California

  what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance

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  (415): what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance http://tfl.nu/c8s3
  Replies (34) Good night (1275) Bad night (4849)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?

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  (630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons.... (1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father? http://tfl.nu/vh34
  Replies (31) Good night (1174) Bad night (5431)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.

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  (217): i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college. http://tfl.nu/qid3
  Replies (8) Good night (3704) Bad night (943)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.

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  (+44): Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/zz0f
  Replies (14) Good night (4479) Bad night (1028)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...

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  (310): Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night... http://tfl.nu/707e
  Replies (15) Good night (3350) Bad night (728)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"

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  (586): Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face" http://tfl.nu/ajht
  Replies (6) Good night (2300) Bad night (683)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.

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  (207): Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck. http://tfl.nu/rwsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (1012)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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  (724): I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser. http://tfl.nu/pdzm
  Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (1922)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him

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  (443): I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him http://tfl.nu/mri0
  Replies (0) Good night (888) Bad night (397)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I think that's justified.

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  (360): I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB. (1-360): I think that's justified. http://tfl.nu/5alt
  Replies (0) Good night (881) Bad night (308)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame

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  (315): I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame http://tfl.nu/dh70
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (497)

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