i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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