i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
