I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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