The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
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I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
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I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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