HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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