pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
