On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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