If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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