I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
