Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.