I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love having hate sex.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence