Your dad touched me again.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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