Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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