I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
