pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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