so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize