quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
