someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
