I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
