I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
