yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
