She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
