I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize