Dual....:-)
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize