The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
