we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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