This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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