PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
