Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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