3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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