you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize