did you get engaged???
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.