so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together