Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.

(310): View more from California

wait, who's paul?

(917): View more from New York City

exactly.

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(917): omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing. (310): wait, who's paul? (917): exactly. http://tfl.nu/h90s

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(847): View more from Illinois

just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom

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(847): just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom http://tfl.nu/dq56

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(310): View more from California

you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.

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(310): you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk. http://tfl.nu/32ev

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(913): View more from Kansas

I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me

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(913): I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me http://tfl.nu/t8we

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out

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(410): I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out http://tfl.nu/hdo3

Replies (12) Good night (1119) Bad night (3412) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.

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(410): she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love. http://tfl.nu/0ws2

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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(+44): I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this. http://tfl.nu/p3jk

Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (2272)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone

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(815): Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone http://tfl.nu/4nil

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.

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(901): Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement. http://tfl.nu/kvvh

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(972): View more from Texas

the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.

(214): View more from Texas

elevator sex. pronto.

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(972): the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me. (214): elevator sex. pronto. http://tfl.nu/j5vd

Replies (5) Good night (2502) Bad night (745)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.

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(414): I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants. http://tfl.nu/xbe1

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"

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(860): I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is" http://tfl.nu/o552

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.

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(701): Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man. http://tfl.nu/tr3t

Replies (7) Good night (2941) Bad night (347)
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(314): View more from Missouri

It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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(314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m

Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (296)
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(323): View more from California

Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.

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(323): Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud. http://tfl.nu/58eq

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