Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
