You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
