btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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