dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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