Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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