how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
