Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
