Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
