too bad you live with your parents still
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
