What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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