she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
