i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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