I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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