I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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