can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
