So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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